Gayatri Vathsan

Life can lay waste to the best-laid plans. No one puts down "being the parent of an autistic child" as their life's ambition. If and when this happens, how do you deal? How do you find grace and joy while supporting your child and enabling them to live the best possible life they can? When Krishna, my son, was diagnosed as autistic in 2018, I was devastated. I had a very vague idea as to what autism was. I had no idea what to do next or how to handle life. All I knew was that my son could not lead the life that other four-year-olds were leading. People looked at me with pity and secret relief that they weren't in my situation. Some were smug and superior. Others behaved as if Krishna or I had a virulent communicable disease. I was emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted each and every day. My husband, my best friend and partner in every other trial that life threw at me, was as lost as I was. One day, I asked myself, “Gayatri, is this who you want to be? Angry, miserable, frustrated, scared? Is this who you are?” The answer to all of this was a resounding NO. This started me on my journey through acceptance. Acceptance doesn't rage. Acceptance doesn't grieve. Acceptance doesn't excuse. Acceptance doesn't hide behind toxic positivity. Acceptance just is. I learned that though Krishna is autistic with coexisting painful medical conditions, yet there is joy in his life and mine. I learned to face the world with a smile on my face and hope in my heart. I learned to hold on to that joy. I learned to move on with strength and purpose. I learned to rediscover my own identity, while caring for Krishna with my entire soul. And I can teach you exactly this.